Awake At Dawn (Wildflower Series Book 2)

AWEEK AFTER my first doctor’s appointment, I found myself on Noah’s couch next to Chloe, who blinked up at me, a giant bowl of popcorn covering most of her body.

“Is it weird living with a boy?”

This was our first night together without Noah, who was doing some kind of football-related thing. He didn’t go into too much detail but said he’d be home late.

I shrugged. “Not really. I grew up living with a boy.”

She gasped like I’d said something scandalous. So I clarified, “He was my brother, Chloe.”Belongs to (N)ôvel/Drama.Org.

Her expression relaxed again, her eyes rolling up. “Well, that’s different.”

“Not that different,” I said, trying to be convincing with my lie.

Chloe saw through me immediately. She cocked her head to the side, lifting a brow. “Isn’t it, though?”

I looked away so my face wouldn’t give me away.

It was completely different. My brother was, well…my brother.

And Noah was decidedly not my brother. He was my incredibly hot roommate.

Temporary roommate, I reminded myself. This was temporary—all of it was temporary.

Except for the raspberry-sized embryo in my belly, of course. That was the only real and permanent thing about this entire situation.

“Do you want to take Winnie to the roof to play?” I asked, purely because I knew it would shift Chloe’s attention. She loved playing with Winnie, and I didn’t want to continue our conversation. Why did kids always have the uncanny ability to see right through us?

As expected, her face lit up, and the bowl of popcorn was pushed to the side, forgotten. Chloe sprang into action, running through the apartment to get Winnie from where she was napping in her kennel.

Not only was this my first night alone with Chloe, but it was also my first solo gig with Winnie.

Not that I was nervous about either. Winnie, from my understanding, was a remarkably easy puppy. She was good at sleeping, nearly entirely potty-trained, and only occasionally tried to chew the corners of the couch. And Chloe was hardly a troublemaker.

I watched the sunset from the sidelines as Chloe ran around with Win, happy to let the two have their fun.

While I felt relaxed and comfortable being alone with Chloe and Winnie, I had to admit how much I missed Noah being here. I liked seeing him as an uncle and a dog dad. It felt secret or private, getting access to that side of Noah London—the side that joked with an eight-year-old and let a puppy climb onto his shoulders and fall asleep.

When the sun had fallen entirely in the sky, I decided it was time to usher Chloe and Winnie back to the penthouse. We passed Summer on the way, who narrowed her eyes when she saw me with Chloe, and then Noah’s other neighbor, Matt, who was always much more friendly. He’d made sure to introduce himself one day when he saw me coming out of the apartment with Winnie, and if he’d thought it was a little odd that Noah London, famous NFL player, would have a platonic roommate, he didn’t say anything.

I suspected if we put on a movie, Chloe would pass out in no time. Noah told me she didn’t have a strict bedtime, but that was usually what they did when she was here on weekends. Chloe would excitedly pick out a movie and fall asleep within fifteen minutes of watching it.

“Do you know what makes a movie and popcorn even better?” I asked Chloe as we strode back into Noah’s living room.

“What?” she asked, her upturned eager expression making me grin.

“A fort.”

“A fort?”

“Yes, a fort!” I laughed before walking back to the kitchen and grabbing a barstool. I noticed the other day that they had the perfect sort of knobs on top for blanket securing. “Look, Chloe.”

Setting the barstool down near the couch, I snatched a blanket—one of the ones Noah usually let Winnie use, so I knew it wasn’t too high-quality—and then yanked the elastic band from my hair. Chloe watched as I dragged the blanket over the barstool and wrapped the band over the protruding peg. Then, I did the same thing to the other side with the extra band from my wrist.

Chloe just stared, confused.

“My brother and I are the oldest in my family,” I explained. “Sometimes, when we had to babysit my younger sisters growing up, we’d do this in the living room. My parents hated how big of a mess it made. While we were good at making forts, we weren’t as good at taking them down.”

I smiled at her, but Chloe curiously cocked her head. “How many sisters do you have?”

“I have four sisters,” I said.

“My mom has four brothers,” Chloe said as she watched me bring another barstool over. This time, she joined in, helping me tie the blanket to the chair.

“So you have three other uncles?” My brows rose, surprised I didn’t know Noah had such a big family.

“Yeah, but I don’t see Uncle Theo, Uncle Sully, or Uncle Blake very often. They live in Minnesota with my grandparents.”

“I heard you’re going to go see them soon. And that you’re all going to Uncle Noah’s game.”

“Yes!” Chloe’s entire face lit up and then promptly dimmed as she added, “I hope Mom’s work doesn’t mess it up like it usually does.”

“Your mom has a very important job, Chloe,” I said, even though my heart ached for her. “But I’m sure she’ll do her very best to make it work.”

“I know,” Chloe acknowledged, and I could tell she did know. But I was sure it didn’t make it any easier to have her mom gone a lot.

I gave her a reassuring smile as we continued to make the fort. After a minute of working in silence, she sighed heavily.

“I wish I had brothers or sisters.”

My heart panged again.

“My best friend Juniper was an only child, too,” I said. “She felt the same way, so she practically lived at my house growing up. And now she’ll officially be my sister soon.”

Chloe paused, looking at me with wide eyes. “How does that work?”

I gave her a soft smile. “She’s marrying my brother.”

“So now she has a really big family, too?” Chloe asked before scowling. “Lucky.”

I worried my lip, wondering if I’d said the wrong thing.

“We’re lucky to have her,” I said, trying to placate the eight-year-old. “Just like Uncle Noah and your mom are lucky to have you.”

Chloe nodded, but I could tell I didn’t really make her feel better. We worked without talking for a bit, and my thoughts drifted to my son or daughter. To my little raspberry. Would they grow up feeling like Chloe and Juniper? Because there was no way in hell I’d be procreating with Silas more than once.

“Oh my God, it’s like a tent!” Chloe suddenly exclaimed as though she understood my vision of why we were doing this for the first time.

“Yes!” I laughed, throwing some other spare blankets and pillows on the floor. Winnie pounced on them immediately, sinking her sharp, tiny teeth into a cushion, which I had to scoop away before she destroyed it. “Climb in.”

Chloe bounced to the floor, picking Winnie up and snuggling her to her chest as she settled beneath the blanket canopy we created. I grabbed the TV remote and the popcorn that had been pushed to the side earlier before crawling in to sit next to Chloe.

“Do you like it?” I asked, noting how she was examining the fort from the inside.

A smile stretched over her face, and she nodded enthusiastically.

Good.

I switched with Chloe, passing the remote and popcorn to her and taking Winnie in return. The puppy rolled around in my lap for a few minutes before finally settling in. Chloe picked an animated movie to watch, and before I knew it, she was asleep.

I tipped my head back with a smile.

“Come on, Little Lo.”

Noah’s hushed voice broke through the barrier of sleep.

Asleep. Oh my God, I’d fallen asleep. On the job. While I was supposed to be watching Chloe and Winnie. And Noah was here.

I blinked to see him scooping Chloe up from the ground. It seemed he was trying not to wake her, and she certainly wasn’t stirring. He carried her off, and my eyes drifted shut again, reluctant to open.

A bit later, Noah returned, and I remembered that I was supposed to be awake. Or at least acting awake.

I started to push myself upright, but Noah put a gentle finger on my shoulder and pushed me back into the blankets and cushions. And then he surprised me by climbing into the fort and taking Chloe’s spot beside me. Winnie jumped off my lap, happy that her dad was home. She started crawling all over him, her tail wagging excitedly.

“I can’t believe I fell asleep,” I said with a groan. “I don’t know what happened. One minute, we were watching Moana, and the next, you were here.”

Noah’s soft chuckle drifted into the space between us. He hauled Winnie into his tattooed arms, and her dog tags chimed as they hit each other.

God, the sight of them. Noah was handsome enough on his own, but when he held a goddamn puppy in his toned arms like that, my insides turned to mush. I knew I shouldn’t keep lusting over my roommate like this, but he made it incredibly hard, and it honestly wasn’t fair.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“No need to be sorry, Gemma. I’m sure you’re exhausted.”

“All I did today was play with Winnie and Chloe.”

“And that’s exhausting,” he acknowledged. I made a face, and he added, “Also, it’s normal to be tired during your first trimester.”

I turned on my side, facing him as I snuggled into the sea of pillows. “How would you know?”

Noah mimicked me, flipping on his side, too. The only thing between us was Winnie, but I couldn’t think about the dog right now. Not when Noah was so close, his body radiating heat. I wanted to dive into his warmth.

“I looked it up,” he said matter-of-factly.

I raised my brow, and he stared at me for a long moment, long enough that I felt my heart rate pick up. His gaze dipped, and I licked my lips before realizing what I was doing. I needed to be more careful not to give myself away, but it was too late. Suddenly, his attention sizzled, like we were sitting in a sauna instead of a blanket fort.

It was amazing how acutely I felt his presence when he wasn’t even touching me. I couldn’t imagine what would happen if he did touch me.

Fuck, I shouldn’t imagine that. I really shouldn’t.

“Still…” I said, finding my voice, “I made a mess in your living room and fell asleep while babysitting.”

“I’m not mad about either of those things,” he said, a slightly amused curve to his lips. Shit, now I was the one looking at his lips. “In fact, I think we should just keep the living room like this.”

“I bet it’ll impress all the girls when you bring them over,” I teased before immediately regretting my words.

His expression hardened, and his eyes flicked away from mine. “I already told you I’m not bringing girls home while you’re here.”

I frowned as I wondered if Noah missed it—missed living the lifestyle he was used to. And if he was ever annoyed that I was keeping him from it.

“Have you ever dated someone?” I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

Noah shrugged, turning onto his back again. “In high school.”

I struggled to hide my surprise. “Not since then? Really?”

He shook his head, throwing his Winnie-free hand behind his head to brace it. His arm flexed, and I hated to admit how much that position did it for me—the look of a relaxed, cocky jock. But his eyes told a different story of a different attitude as they stared at the fort’s ceiling.

“What about Juni?” I asked.

Over a year ago, Noah agreed to take Juniper to her half sister’s wedding as her fake boyfriend, and they’d gone on a few date-like outings beforehand. Juniper said it was just so they could get to know each other better, but still.

Noah looked over at me. “What about Juni?”

“You seemed willing to go on dates with her.”

Something churned in my stomach at the memory, something I didn’t let myself acknowledge. I hadn’t then, and I couldn’t now.

“Juniper is easy to go on dates with,” Noah answered simply, not giving anything away from his expression.

“So, was it hard to give her up?” I pressed. “To back out on being her fake boyfriend for the weekend?”

Noah chuckled. “You mean so Julian could finally get his shit together and volunteer to take her to the wedding himself?”

I nodded.

“No,” he replied easily, “it wasn’t hard.”

“You didn’t like her?”

“Of course I like her. But just as friends.” He grinned as he thought about Juniper, and my stomach churned again. Ugh. “It was easy talking to her, and I was happy to help. But we never really had that spark.”

“She said you almost kissed her once,” I argued—for some goddamn reason.

“It wasn’t like that.” He shook his head. “I wanted her to know that she deserved to be kissed. I know how girls overthink things if they don’t get a kiss at the end of a date.”

“But you’re not disappointed you didn’t take her to the wedding?”

I wasn’t sure why I needed this to be so clear, but I did. This wasn’t the first time I’d wondered about Noah’s intentions and feelings toward my best friend.

Noah cocked his head to the side like he was curious why I cared so goddamn much. Truthfully, I wanted to know, too—why I cared. I shouldn’t care. But despite his curiosity, Noah answered me honestly. Or at least, it seemed honest.

“I was slightly worried that Julian wouldn’t go through with it and she’d be stuck alone,” he replied. “But no, I wasn’t disappointed. We would’ve had fun, but it would have been as friends. It wouldn’t have become anything.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not the kind of guy that girls date, Gemma.” He said the words firmly, finding my gaze and holding it. It seemed purposeful, and my cheeks burned.

“Why aren’t you the kind of guy that girls date?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“Because if you date a girl, you’re making a promise to give them something.” Noah’s voice lowered to something strained. “I never saw myself giving Juni what Julian does.”

“And what’s that?”

“Love. A relationship. A future.”

“You’re trying to tell me you’re incapable of love? Unwilling to love?” I scoffed. “Somehow, I doubt that.”

Noah clearly loved a lot of people. Maybe not in a romantic way, and maybe not in an outward fashion. But his actions showed how much he cared for the people around him.

He just shrugged, and even though I wanted to probe further, I bit my tongue. I’d asked for a lot of answers tonight, and I knew I should have stopped talking a long time ago. But the person everyone told me Noah London was…seemed far different than the person lying beside me in a poorly crafted blanket fort.

And I wanted to know what this version of Noah was all about.

“What time does your practice end tomorrow?” he asked, switching subjects. “I’m supposed to pick Chloe up afterward.”

I cleared my throat. “It ends at three, but you should come a little early and watch. Chloe has made a lot of progress, and I’m sure she’d love for you to see.”

Noah’s gaze warmed.

“I’ll be there.”