Forbidden Desire

Jason’s eyes looked at me sadly. I tried to pull myself together by faking a smile while I could hear my heartbreak like a mirror shattering.

“Thank you,” I murmured softly, a tinge of sadness evident in my voice.

He kissed me on the forehead and hugged me once more before letting me go. I spent the rest of the day doing light chores and mentally thanked myself for not even seeing Jinhee’s shadow while I worked. When I texted Eunji that I was going to college today, and he was supposed to pick me up, so I was ready when my cell phone vibrated, and he said he had already arrived. When I went out the gate, I saw those bright eyes lighting up my night, and he blushed as he approached me awkwardly, not knowing whether to kiss me or just say hello. I left a kiss on his lips, making him blush even more and his smile even more beautiful.

“Are you sure you’re all right about going back to school?” he asked, concern evident in his voice.

“Yes, I don’t want to miss any more classes,” I reassured him.

“Alright, then. Then hold on to this,” he said, handing me a motorcycle helmet.

I looked at him confused, but he pointed across the street where a motorcycle was parked.

“I took the bike I use at work, so I could take you. I didn’t want you to strain yourself walking.”

My heart warmed when I saw how concerned and careful he was with me.

“Oh, you didn’t have to!” I exclaimed, touched by his thoughtfulness.

He smiled shyly, and I kissed him again. This time he didn’t show any shyness, he pulled me to him, kissing me gently until I lost my breath as he pulled me to him with his hands on my waist. He broke off our kiss reluctantly and was serious when he did so, he had a cute, shy way about him, but today, for the first time, I seemed to realize that he was also a man. We got on the bike and headed for the college, and I felt good hugging his body, which was stronger than I’d imagined, as we rode through the city. When we got there, we sparked a few curious looks, which seemed to intensify when he took my hand. We walked to the classroom hand in hand. The class was very productive. This time it wasn’t a practical class, and we wrote a lot instead of drawing. I knew how important it was to be a complete artist, to know all the techniques and terms used in art, I was happy with the content taught and every day I felt that I was on the right track. When the lesson was over, he looked at me with a different smile on his face, he was scratching his head and seemed to want to ask me something.

“What was it?” I prompted, noticing his hesitation.

He blushed and took a deep breath before speaking.

“Do you want to eat that Jajangmyeon today?” he asked, his tone hopeful.

“Hmm, so this is the day I get to see your cooking skills?” I teased, a smile playing on my lips.

He smiled shyly, and I agreed.

“Sure, let’s go!”

He seemed excited, and we got on the motorcycle and headed towards his apartment.

“Please just don’t notice that my place is simple,” he said, a hint of embarrassment in his voice.

“Open the door, boy,” I replied with a grin.

When he opened the door, I could see that it was a small apartment, a studio or loft as it’s more commonly called. It had a small kitchen, a space where there was a double bed, and a space where there was a small sofa and a television all in one room. As well as a door at the back where the bathroom must have been. Although it wasn’t very big, it was well ventilated and looked comfortable. I could see his drawings in some pictures, including the one he made of me, and I ended up smiling.

“I know it’s small, but it’s close to the college and my work, so it suits me well,” he explained, a hint of nervousness in his voice.

“I like it! You’re pretty organized for a man,” I complimented, looking around with appreciation.

“Yes, I’m organized. Of course, I didn’t plan to bring you here, so I woke up three hours earlier than I’m used to in order to clean everything up and make it presentable,” he admitted sheepishly.

I started to laugh at his sincerity, and he led me to the sofa, indicating that I should sit on it. I left my notebooks on the table and relaxed on the green sofa, which although small, was comfortable.

“Now you can stay here while the chef cooks,” he said with a grin, heading towards the kitchen.

“Look, don’t do that, I’ll get used to it, eh? Let me help!” I insisted, getting up to join him in the kitchen.

I walked up to him and placed a kiss on his lips, causing him to disarm completely.

“Oh, you want to help?” he asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

I kept kissing him, and he spoke between our kisses.

“I think I’m going to lose my concentration,” he murmured, his voice slightly breathless.

“Yeah?” I teased, trailing kisses down his neck and feeling him shiver.

He kissed me back eagerly, and we ended up in the kitchen, our lips locked in a passionate embrace. He surprised me by picking me up and sitting me on the worktop, getting between my legs as I pulled him closer.

“Now you can’t run away,” he whispered, his voice husky with desire.

“And who says I want to run away?” I replied, a hint of mischief in my tone.

He intensified our kiss, and his wet tongue dancing with mine made me want to go beyond that kiss. Unlike Jason, he didn’t intimidate me, and because he was so shy, I loved feeling him trying to control himself while I teased him. He kept kissing me as he led me into the kitchen, and I was surprised when he picked me up and sat me on the worktop. He got between my legs, and I pulled him to me, crossing my legs around him.

“Now you can’t run away.”

“And who says I want to run away?”

He intensified our kiss, his passion evident in every touch. As we finally broke apart, he looked at me with a hopeful expression.

“Jane?”

“Hmm?”

“Does this mean we’re dating?” he asked nervously.

I immediately turned away, startled by that sudden question.

“Dating?”

I stopped to think for a minute, which was quite difficult because I was climbing the walls.

“I think it’s a bit early to put a label on it,” I finally replied, trying to tread carefully.

He looked at me disappointed, but smiled all the same.

“Yeah, really. I’ve never liked someone that quickly. You know, when my brother talked about you and gave me your contact details, I remember seeing your picture and that night I couldn’t sleep. I was looking forward to the next day, and when I saw you getting out of the car, I was dumbfounded. After I saw your drawings, and the way you looked in love while you were drawing, I was very taken with you.”

His eyes were shining at me.

“I know, it’s too soon to make a statement, but I just want you to know my intentions. If you want, I really want to be your boyfriend. But I know it’s still too early, so for now, I’ll just cook for you until you fall in love with me, okay?” he said with sincerity, his eyes pleading.

He seemed so sincere in everything he said, everything seemed so simple to him, and it really could be if I wasn’t madly in love with Jason. I nodded, unable to voice my conflicted feelings, and he smiled at me.

“Well then, let’s get started! Since you want to help me, you can chop the spring onions and potatoes,” he said, changing the subject.

“All right!” I agreed, eager to divert my thoughts.

I got down from the worktop, and we started preparing everything in such a fun way that it made me imagine what it would be like to be his girlfriend, experiencing light and fun moments like this all the time. When we’d finished, we sat down on the sofa to eat, and it was so delicious that I devoured it in no time.

“Well, I don’t even need to ask you if you liked it, do I?” he said with a chuckle, noticing my enthusiasm.

“I loved it!” I exclaimed, feeling genuinely happy.

I remembered what Jason said about not agreeing to eat noodles with anyone because it was an invitation to sex, and I ended up laughing like crazy, leaving him confused.

“What?” he asked, looking puzzled.

“Nothing,” I replied, trying to stifle my laughter.

“Go ahead, I want to laugh too,” he insisted, his curiosity piqued.

I could feel my cheeks blushing, and he kept laughing without understanding a thing.

“Well, is this some kind of noodles? Is that it? You asked me to eat noodles at your house?” I teased, barely able to contain my amusement.

He looked at me for a few moments without understanding anything, then he started to blush and deny it while hiding his face with his hands.

“No! Not like that! Aish. That wasn’t my intention,” he stammered, embarrassment evident in his voice.

“Hmm. So you don’t want to?” I teased further, enjoying his embarrassment.

“No. I mean… Please stop, you’re making me sweat in here!” he protested, his cheeks redder than ever.

He was adorable in his embarrassment, and I couldn’t help but laugh even harder at his reaction.

“I’ll do the dishes and take you home; your aunt will be worried,” he said, changing the subject and getting up from the table.

“That’s right! I’ll text her,” I replied, pulling out my phone.

I texted her that I was at Eunji’s, and she replied with a smiley face. He finished the dishes, and we were getting ready to leave when he looked at me and smiled.

“What?” I asked, curious about his sudden change in expression.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

“Your face is smeared with food,” he said, trying to stifle a laugh.

“Really?” I exclaimed, surprised.

He smiled, and it was my turn to be embarrassed.

“Go and look in the bathroom mirror,” he suggested gently.

“Okay, I’ll be right back,” I said, heading towards the bathroom.

When I looked in the mirror, I wondered how I’d managed to get so dirty. I guess I hadn’t mastered chopsticks like I thought. When I got back to where he was, my heart almost stopped. He was holding my sketchbook open, right in front of my Jason drawings. When he looked at me, I could see the disappointment in his eyes, making me feel like the worst person in the world. He closed the notebook and handed it to me.

“Eunji, I…” I started, unsure of what to say.

“You’re in love with your boss,” he said quietly, his voice tinged with sadness.

I couldn’t deny it.

“Your boss, who’s married and much older than you,” he continued, his words heavy with resignation.