Chapter 9 SENSATIONS AND CONFUSION
Alana
Hearing that simple nickname that Raúl loves to call me, made an even bigger impact, and when he said he wanted me, I felt a different energy go through my body that reacted warmly to it. What is happening to me?
Raúl takes his hand to my chin, and lifts it, his gaze leaves me lost, he approaches his mouth again and kisses my neck, I feel something burning through my body, inside me, an intense heat takes over. The reactions that invade me, frighten me too much, I never expected to be like this with a man other than Dani, and is it Raúl who makes me feel this way? I’ve liked Dani for a long time, and I’ve shied away from relationships, I’ve never allowed anyone to get this close, or touch me like that.
One of his hands lands on my thigh, and he squeezes it, his mouth is on mine again, and this time I take the reins of the situation, and I kiss him with pleasure. Raúl squeezes my waist, and quickly pulls me to sit on his lap, and I allow it. What’s happening? If you had asked me an hour ago if I would let Raúl provide me with all this, I would have said no, but here I am, in his lap, feeling his mouth devour mine. His hands land on my ass, squeezing it, I don’t know where this will take me, and just as I’m burning inside, the defender shows the result of it, I feel the hardness of his arousal like the other day in my room.
But this time it’s very different, I feel his member is closer to me, it scares me, but I can’t stop, it’s stronger than me. He grunts when he hears my moans, almost imperceptible, and I think it makes him work up the courage to move his mouth down my neck, traveling to the lap of my breasts, making me shiver, I feel my nipples tighten, and the strength of his hand on one of my breasts. This is out of control, and if I don’t stop it, I’ll end up doing… No, no, definitely not!
– Raúl… Please… Stop… I… – I say in a breathless voice. – I think… We’d better stop, you’re going too far.
He stops, looks at me intensely, takes his hand to my face and caresses it, I don’t know what happens to me, but this simple gesture leaves me static, without action. Why do I feel this way? It’s Raúl, Dani’s childhood friend, who loved to ruffle my hair when I was a kid, and I hated it, and when we got a little older, he became considerate, took more care of me than my half brother, always affectionate with me, worried when I was having problems at school.
Now, I stand before him feeling vulnerable, responding to his hot touches and kisses, gasping and moaning with every act of his on my body, wanting his mouth on mine. I want to know where Alana in love with Dani ended up? The same one who was willing to conquer him, does anyone know her whereabouts? Honestly, I don’t know… But if you find her somewhere, let me know!
– Okay, I’m sorry! I think I was too intense with you, and… Look, I don’t want you to think badly of me, that I’m just playing with you, and…
Before he finishes, I get up and get off his lap, I sit next to him, and Raúl continues to look at me like I’m something very valuable, I like that. He continues his speech, and I maintain eye contact, even though I’m a little intimidated by those eyes.
– You know, that day in your room, your reaction was very different, and we ended up not going out. So… How about we go out tomorrow?
– Yeah… Go where?
– That restaurant I promised to take you to!
– Oh…
– So… Can we go?
Before I can answer, someone knocks on the car window. We look in the direction of the crash, but through the glass all you can see is a silhouette. Raúl lowers the window and we are faced with Dani, and her questioning gaze.
– Good night, Danny! – says Raúl in a very embarrassed way, in front of his friend’s gaze.
– Good night. Where are you coming from?
– I ran into Lana at one of my teammates party, and…
– What? Where were you, Alana? – Dani asks me, and completely ignores Raúl.
– She was at Diego’s house…
– Raúl, I thank you for bringing my sister home, but Lana still knows how to talk, she doesn’t need an interpreter!Content property of NôvelDra/ma.Org.
What happened to Dani? Looks irritated. I don’t know, but as my heated conversation seems to have come to an end, I decide to get out of the car. I open the door, go around the vehicle, and stand in front of Dani to question his way of treating Raúl, because if he’s in trouble, whoever he is, his friend has nothing to do with it.
– I went to the party at Diego’s house, he and Edu have a friend in common, this friend invited him. Some problem? – As I speak, Raúl gets out of the car and stands beside me.
– This Edu guy always has to be in the middle…
– What’s your problem with my friend?
– I don’t have a problem with your friend, I just think he’s not a good influence on you, and…
– Edu is not a good influence on me, why? – I ask annoyed.
– He’s not a very trustworthy person…
– If you’re going to speak ill of my friend, you can stop there…
– You don’t want me to badmouth him, but look where your good friend has taken you? To the house of one of the most perverted guys at Real Desportivo de Madrid, everyone knows that Diego has high orgies at these parties, that he has sex with men and women… And Raúl, you say you are so straight, and you frequent places like this?
– I’ve never heard of him throwing this kind of party, and…
– Ah Raúl, what is it? – Dani asks annoyed . – Alana, I hope you think carefully before going out with anyone, anywhere…
– What do you mean by that? – I ask.
– Anyone? Is this for me, Dani? – Raúl questions him.
– It’s not, but I think you’re kind of desperate to fit in, and end up making friends with anyone, just like Alana!
– You’re starting to piss me off with this… Who do you think you are, Daniel? Go take care of your girlfriend, and stop bothering me !
– You don’t understand, I worry about you, and…
– Please, Danny! You take me for an idiot, who doesn’t think, who doesn’t want anything to do with life, is that how you see me?
– Lana, I worry about you!
– You don’t worry, you’re just spewing a bunch of bullshit, mixed with machismo, and you know what? Take care of your life, I’ll take care of mine! – I say, and before he manifests, I leave.
Who does he think he is to say all that rudeness to me? I feel anger taking over me, but at the same time I feel fear, a huge vulnerability. The tears flow before I get to my room, I have experienced a lot of sensations in a short time, mainly excitement and anger. I throw myself on my bed, and I think about everything I’ve lived in the last few years, and it saddens me, because basically my life comes down to suffering for someone who doesn’t deserve it, and who maybe never sees me the way I want, and Is it worth continuing to live like this?