Sold to the mafia

Katia

My shoulders shake as I sob uncontrollably as I sit at my desk chair in front of my open laptop. The pain is searing and I haven’t been able to sleep at all. Not that I want to. All I’ve been able to think about is him and how he sent me away. And how much it fucking hurts.

I desperately need someone to talk to, someone who understands me. But Kiersten isn’t online. I almost want to call my mom. Just to hear her tell me it’s going to be alright. But I can’t. Not yet. I don’t want to admit what’s happened to anyone. I want it to just be a nightmare.

I glance at the screen again, waiting for Kiersten to come on. She’s always here at night. I know I’ve been busy with Isaac, but I’ve kept up with her messages. I’m there for her. I made sure to tell her that. I always will be. And I need her now. I feel so selfish. But I truly need her now.

I’ve waited for the last two hours for her to appear, but she hasn’t logged on. I’ve sent direct message after message, hoping she’d get a notification on her cell, but nothing. I wipe away my tears with the back of my hand, trying desperately to get a hold of my emotions. I don’t know what to do.

I pull my knees to my chest, my feet sitting on the microfiber seat, biting down on the inside of my cheek with enough force to almost break the skin.

You can survive this, I tell myself. I am a strong woman. I’ve been through hell and back, and look at me. I survived.

“I’m a survivor,” I intone, but my voice cracks and a wave of emotions threatens to send me over the top, and I cover my mouth to keep sobs from escaping. Stop crying. I can’t let him do this to me. It’s my fault for pushing him. But I knew something was wrong. I just wish he’d tell me how to fix it. I will. I’ll do anything I can to fix it.

Fighting back more tears, I look around the house, trying to gain comfort from the yellow color, my animal ornaments, every little knickknack that was put here with purpose. To create a happy, soothing environment. A place that feels safe and inviting. But right now, it does nothing for me. I feel so empty.

A knock on the door causes my head to snap up so fast, I almost get whiplash. Hope spreads through my chest. Isaac?

Knock. Knock.

The sound is soft, not like Isaac. But I can’t help but hope. I know he didn’t mean what he said. I know he loves me, even if he won’t admit it.

I quickly rise from my seat, the chain lock sliding and then clinking as I move it off the track and open the door without looking to see who’s there.

Standing in the doorway is Madam Lynn, looking gorgeous as all hell. She’s wearing a claret red dress with a white belt at the waist and matching white pumps; her hair pulled up into a gorgeous sleek ponytail , her makeup flawless. A soft earthy scent tickles my nose as she gives me a gentle compassionate smile that calms my anxiety somewhat. She’s holding a thin envelope in her hand, but I’m more worried about how awful I look right now with my red-rimmed puffy eyes and disheveled hair. She has to think I look an absolute mess. I want to question why she’s here, but more than that, I want to run into her arms and just be held, to confide in her and tell her how I fucked it all up.

She must see how upset I am, as if it isn’t completely obvious. But I ignore her look of sympathy and let her come in, shutting the door as she walks into my tiny apartment.

“Hello, Katia,” Madam Lynn says, handing the envelope out to me. “I came to give you this.”

I look at it for a moment before taking it. “What’s this?”

“I got a call from Isaac, stating that the contract ended before schedule, but that you were to be paid in full.”

Anger tightens my chest and I offer the check back to her. “I don’t want this,” I say stiffly. “He can keep it.” I just want him, or nothing at all. Fuck the money. I cross my arms and back away. I’m pissed, but more than that, hurt.

Madam Lynn refuses to take the check back, placing her hands behind her back and peering at me closely. “I see things didn’t end well between the both of you. I normally don’t inquire into the business of my clients, but if someone was hurt… well, I have to know. Can you tell me what happened?”

My heart pounds as I think about a response. “I-I-I think I pushed him.” My heart clenches. If I’d just stayed quiet and behaved… but I thought, he needed me to push him. I thought he needed me. “I just wanted to-” my throat hurts, and it’s hard to say what I’m feeling. It’s hard to form what we had into words. “He wouldn’t let me in, when all I wanted to do was help him, just like he helped me.”

Madam Lynn’s expression is sympathetic as she looks at me. “That sounds like him.” She shakes her head. “I wouldn’t take it too personally. I’ve known Isaac for a very long time, and because of what happened to him, he doesn’t let many people in.”

But this is different. I’m not just any person. He cared about me. I know he did. What we had was real.

The pain gripping my sore heart is almost enough to bring me to tears in front of Madam Lynn, but I fight them back.

“You can find someone else?” Madam Lynn suggests tenderly, her expression turning hopeful. “You don’t have to go to pieces over just one man, no matter how good he was to you.”

I suck in a breath, anger gripping my throat. I’ve never had reason to be angered with Madam Lynn, and I know she’s just trying to get me to see another point of view, but the very idea of finding another Master is appalling. There can be no other Master for me. Only Isaac.

“I have no desire for a new Master,” I say with utmost confidence. “I only want Isaac.”

Madam Lynn shakes her head, a small smile stretching on her lips. “And I’m sure he wouldn’t want you to have another Master either.” Her eyes shine with mischief. “He’s going to be regretting this. Very soon.”

I want him to regret it, but more than that, I want him back.

“Do you really think so?” I ask, trying to not sound too desperate.

Madam Lynn nods, a devious smile playing across her lips. “I do; I think he just needs a push to realize what he really wants and how desperate he’ll be to make that happe..”

I swallow thickly, not knowing what to think. “I don’t want another Master. Ever. If I can’t have Isaac back… if he doesn’t want me,” my voice trails off and it’s hard to think that he’s really through with me.

“Isaac is being foolish, and he will have you back. Trust me, I know when a man is in love.”

Love. My heart hurts so fucking much.

I close my eyes, praying that what she’s saying is true. I don’t want to hope if it’s really over.

As if reading my mind, Madam Lynn says, “It’s not over, Katia. Just give him this push.”Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

I nod my head, feeling as though I at least have a plan. “I’ll go.”

It’s not over just yet. I won’t give up hope.