The Dark Beast's Love

All sense of victory was gone after that. It seemed like hours before one of us finally moved and when we did, we moved like ghosts, our presence only haunting the house.NôvelD(ram)a.ôrg owns this content.

The worst thing was that there was no possibility for us to forget that the witch's visit had ever happened, because the dagger was still on the floor where it had been left, a constant reminder that we could not look past her existence. Every time I looked at it, it seemed like a curse, like another burden to bear. The witch had promised me the one thing I've wanted since I got here, in exchange for something I refused to take. Perhaps if she'd been a month earlier I would have jumped the opportunity immediately and stabbed him in the heart. But I couldn't do that now, not anymore. Stabbing Riven in the back was as unnatural to me as not flinching when I put my hand on a hot surface, it wasn't possible. I was sure about that. But I wasn't sure if Riven was as convinced.

He looked at the dagger more times than I did, and every time, it was with an expression of resignation. He would move around in the house, prepare warm water, get out necessary ingredients, and rearrange things that had moved with the wind, but every time his eyes landed on the dagger he froze. Just for the shortest of seconds, he froze, and then he would return to his task. And every time he froze, it was as if he lost a little bit of faith in himself, and in me. And I hated it. Once things were in order again, Riven approached me from where I had been sitting on the couch, a damp towel in one hand and bandages and container with clear salve on the other. He said nothing as he started working on my wounds and bruises. The bastard even had the nerve to avoid my eyes while I was desperately trying to catch his expression for some kind of sign.

Moments later, my patience was out, and I was about to break the silence, but Riven beat me to it.

"I think you should take the deal."

My thoughts came to a stop. What?

Riven was still not looking at my face, but he must have read my reaction based on my body reaction because he continued.

"Think about it," He took my other hand to carefully place some balm upon one of the bruises he'd left behind, and I found it unfair that we were having this conversation while he was casually massaging me. "You get what you want, with no obligations. No bargain. No promises you didn't want to make. No cage. You get to live the life you choose for yourself before I became a part of it and your town will still remain unharmed. This is what you've always wanted. And you finally have the chance to take it. So I think you should."

There was a silence between us before I managed to speak.

"But you would die," Saying the words out loud was almost too much alone. "You would have to die."

Riven shrugged, as if we were discussing the conditions of our latest harvest of tomatoes.

"Do you want to die?" I asked instead and watched Riven's shoulders tense. "Riven, do you still want to die?"

Was it selfish of me to think that he'd let go of that wish the second we succeeded? Was it selfish of me to think that I was enough to make him want to stay alive? Riven's

issues go deeper than I will ever know, but in the past weeks he'd seemed happier. Even his talks with Xavier had been lighter than the first ones I heard. Was I imagining it? Had I been naive to think that I was helping?

"I want you to be happy," Riven responded and I was grateful that he didn't mechanically return to his task. Instead, he held my hands as if they were precious jewels and stayed there.

"That wasn't what I asked," My voice was barely above a whisper. "Riven, do you still want to die?"

Now it was his turn to process before answering.

"I've only wanted two things in my life wholeheartedly," Riven said and finally raised his chin so that our eyes met. I should have been relieved to find some humanity behind the green but all I found was his grief. He was already mourning something that hadn't been lost.

"I've only wanted two things in my life," He repeated again and didn't drop my gaze. "For my love. And for her to be happy."

My breath hitched when I realised what he was saying. He was not responding to my question because this was the only response that was real. It wasn't that he wanted to die. Whether death was a requirement or not depended solemnly on his other wishes. And all of them depended solemnly on someone else.

The knowledge both warmed and hurt my heart and I wondered how the past me couldn't have seen past his obvious charade. Because while he had been a cold-hearted jerk, none of it was actually his fault. It had been the only way he knew how to protect his heart, because boys like him didn't survive otherwise. Boys that loved with all their being. Riven had loved his friend and it had carved out his inside to the point where pure desperation drove his instincts. And now, he loved me enough to give up his life so that I would be happy, because he still saw himself as a second choice. Only chosen because of the circumstances. And I realised that that wasn't exactly true.

The dagger on the floor seemed to be glowing. But it did not give me the tempting effect it was supposed to have. Instead, the sight of it was repulsive. It was another deal. Another trick from the witch where one had to suffer in order for another to feel even the slightest bit alive. But that wasn't the bargain I wanted. I wasn't after one life in exchange for another. I wanted life to improve, not stay in the middle. So if I stabbed Riven, I would have been like stabbing myself in the back. And meanwhile, the life I would have gained, would have been unlivable due to the foundation it would have been on. I wasn't after blood anymore, despite the months and months in training. I wanted peace. And for the first time, I knew how to achieve it.

"I love you." The words had been out before I'd even gotten the chance to overthink it. And I said it again for good measure. "I love you, Riven."

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"Liliana?" My name came out as a question and a plea, but I just continued.

"I thought it was magic at first," I admitted. "I thought it was the canyon pushing us together and forcing me to feel you. But it wasn't. It is like our blood sings the same melody and finally has created this perfect duet. My body knows more about you than my mind does and it has never been safer. I love you, Riven. And I don't know why, nor do I know how it happened. I just know that it did, and that it is my own choice this time. Not someone else's. Not another force. I love you not because you're my mate or your promised love. I think I love you because I understand you. And despite giving you almost nothing, you understand me as well."

"Liliana," Riven moved so that his eyes were the same height as mine and gently cradled my head between his hands. "You can't say it if you don't... You have to mean it. You can't... I can't handle it if you're saying it and it's not real." I did not shy away from the intensity of his gaze. Nor did I miss the doubt in his voice.

"I love you," I said again, more determined this time. "It took me a while to figure out but it's real, Riven. I love you."

He placed his lips on mine, gently not to hurt me any further but with every emotion sparkling between our lips. I immediately melted into his touch and did all I could to savour the feeling of his soft lips against mine, of his hand resting on my jaw and the other brushing my hair. Riven was a boy that had too much love to give and no one who was willing to receive it. I was more than determined to change that.

Meanwhile, the dagger remained on the floor like a useless prop by a child. It would always be an opportunity. But the kiss we had sealed that it would remain nothing. And when we both later put it away, I offered it to Riven, to place it whenever he wanted, as a sign of my trust. And in return, he placed it somewhere we both could reach. The response being that he trusted me as well.